Oh hey.
Long time no see, no hear.
What a year.
Not to sound dramatic,
But I would rather relive 2020 than redo 2022.
I had a horrible, personal arc in 2022 - if you can even call it an arc. There were good moments in 2022. There were friendships that were made. There were jobs and events that created core memories. You experience life in such a wild way when you work in film. However, I am learning that not everyone needs my energy. I used to THINK that I should create boundaries; now I KNOW I need to have boundaries. As I crossed the threshold of 2023, I felt as if I was sent back to the start of 2022. The goals that I created in January 2022 never became accomplishments; they are the same goals that I carried into January 2023.
I have described my 2022 year as my Captain Jack Sparrow year. Anyone who is a fan of the Pirate of the Caribbean trilogy (yes, in my mind there are only three movies) will remember our crazy, fun, spontaneous Captain. Very rarely does Captain Jack Sparrow
develop anything along a character arc. He has goals, which he goes after and fights for and does cartwheels for; yet at the end of the movies he is - more often than not - right where he started. He goes on a journey and serves as a catalyst for other people’s stories; yet, he still hasn’t found a piece of the puzzle and must continue on the journey. If he does develop his character arc, he may not be faithful to it. His role changes from point to point as the movies have different demands. While it may seem like Jack is a main character, he serves more as a side character. In every plot arc, he just pops in, contributes something, and pops out. He assists in the progress of the main character’s plots and arc while not inspiring any progress within himself. Now, read that whole paragraph again and replace Jack Sparrow with an image of myself. That was my 2022.
In college, my professor would frequently bring up a quote from Edward Albee’s play, The Zoo Story, which states “sometimes a person has to go a very long distance out of his way to come back a short distance correctly.” As my grumpy December 2022 self was reflecting on the difficulties of the year, I had my professor's voice in the back of my head. Our default mindset is to focus on the negative, to tear others and ourselves down. I am in the process of rewiring my brain. With that in mind, here were some positives from 2022…
– I spent A LOT of time with my cousins, family, and friends
– One of my youth group girls got baptized
– I met Mallory Burkhalter
– I enjoyed work from home days with Jessica Pickard
– I worked in North Carolina for a Hallmark movie and ate the best shrimp & grits I’ve ever had in my life
– An Iconic Kure Beach Trip with Hayley & Tim
– Daytona 2022 – might just be the highlight of my year
– I spent multiple weekends and trips by the water this summer
– Pool days with Broughton & Grace
– Alexx & Ivan got married!
– I worked at Tyler Perry Studios
– Kevin Hart, Ben Schwarts, Nathalie Emmanuel, John Cena, Paula Pell, Ben Meckler, & Chris Amick… no words. All smiles.
– I got Taylor Swift Tickets
– Multiple friends had babies
– I was reminded how much fun I have while teaching elementary students
– My girls, week after week, brought light and love into my life
– CODA won an Oscar for Best Picture
– I worked on nine union film productions as a crew member
– I worked on two commercials as a crew member
– I worked on two independent projects as both an actor and a crew member
– I am still alive
Stealing the words out of Rachel Zegler’s mouth, “I am moving with more grace as I go into this world. I am not broken; I am just learning.”
I am keeping my goals, my dreams, my thoughts and ideas close to my heart. But I will say, I am already excited for 2023. I made strong goals for this first quarter, and I have been checking off my bingo card. What’s on my bingo card? That’s a secret I’ll never tell.
xoxo Becca
the way you write 😍 cheers to 2023 and being the main character of your journey even though jack sparrow is awesome.